Happy New Year

Happy New Year! I apologize for being away so long. It has been quite a time. All is well here. I had emergency neck surgery. I'm recovering pretty well. It's slow going. I've had to do a lot of resting. I still can't lift a lot or overdo it too much. The headaches are gone, and the numbness in my fingers and toes is mostly gone. I'm feeling better every day. Going through another surgery without Joe was a challenge. He's been gone almost 9 years, and I still miss him every day. I grieve him while grieving all the time he's missed. We lost our Luna Jade in August to cancer, right after I had surgery. Thankfully I had someone to help me get her buried. She was my first dog I got out here. She was 3 weeks old when I got her. She was supposed to be drowned the day I got her, with all her siblings. I miss her so much!! I keep looking outside expecting to see her lying in the sun. I'd like to believe that she's with Kiwi dog and Flynn dog and Joe. I don't know what happens when we die, but that's what I believe. 

Loca, the Malinois, had 3 puppies in October. We love them so much!! 2 boys and a girl. The girl is with the guy who borrowed us his male, and I still have the boys. They are now 15 weeks old, and too damn big! We needed to have babies after losing Luna and Kiwi. My heart needed it. 

My holidays were the best I've ever had. I didn't go anywhere. I didn't celebrate really. I did some good deeds for a few strangers. I sent money for my little people. I got to spoil my son. And that's what I did. I took myself out for Christmas Eve dinner and a movie. I bought myself some wool and cashmere clothes and boots. For once, I didn't arrive at the new year exhausted and overwhelmed. I'm getting better with setting boundaries, and told my dad no twice. Even with some added guilt trips, I held my ground. 

I'm 22 months sober, and nicotine free for 5 months. I'm so proud of myself!! For the first time ever I'm allowed to be. I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday season, and I hope this is our year!! Ceeeej 
Bear.       And.          Lobo. 

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