Father's Day, a little late

In March it was 8 years since I lost my husband. It doesn't feel like it's been that long. It feels like yesterday, and it feels like another life. He was truly my best friend! We could spend every minute together. Were we dysfunctional, of course, but we tried to be better than the examples we'd seen. We were both unhealed. So things were a struggle. And he was battling Multiple Sclerosis. He was always on my side. He would help me to see logic as I tend to lead with my heart. He was aware of my feelings and avoided hurting them when possible. Recently I realized that he was my emotional regulator. We were very different but very similar. He was calmer than I was. I was usually on the ceiling, being dramatic. I now understand that this was from all of the bullshit I'd endured. He tried to make me feel safe. I trusted him completely. That says a lot, because I barely trusted myself, let alone anyone else. He required that people show me respect. He never beat up anyone. He was eloquent without being stuffy. It wasn't the happily ever after that I'd been told it would be, but it was a once in a lifetime kind of love. At the time, I don't think I truly appreciated the huge blessing of being Joe's wife and the mother of our child. Today, on Father's Day, it's crystal clear how fortunate I was, and still am, to have had such a special relationship. So few of us get to know what actual love is, sadly. I do. I wish it for everyone. Not just sex, but love! True love! As the world is in chaos and disarray, perhaps now is the best time to show each other some love and compassion? Much love, Ceeeej 

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