EMDR

Hello, my friends. I hope all is well for you. Yesterday I had my 2nd session of EMDR. I had decided that I needed to work through more guilt. I'm not Catholic, but I come from a long line of them. I come by my guilt honestly. I've always felt responsible and in charge of everything and everyone. Especially for someone I'd tried to keep safe and alive. This one was about my dearly departed husband. Yes, I have guilt and shame around his death, because I was his caregiver and I was his wife and the mother of his child. Yes, I have survivors guilt also. Ultimately, I'm trying to convince myself that I did the very best I could. Which is true, absolutely, but it is difficult to convince myself, because he is not here. To me, that feels like failure. Unfortunately I couldn't have prevented his death and the most amazing thing is that I did my best to give him a life, not just keep him alive. And help him get his dreams. And give him a son, and a family. I'm trying to heal and move forward. It's not easy, but my future is worth it. And I should never forget that I'm blessed by the love of that man. And in my friends and family. Much love,  and may you have peace and healing! Ceeeej 

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