Self Protection

Hello my friends. With the upcoming holidays and my new sobriety, something very important was pointed out to me. I must protect my sobriety. Recently I went on a couple trips to see my family and friends, by myself, besides my puppy, Loca. These were my first trips solo since losing my husband. It was many of the places we'd been to and many of the people who knew him. Lots of triggers. I mean, seriously!! All of the triggers! How did I stay sober? And have an amazing time? Well, I took a lot of deep breaths. A lot. I was as present as I could be. I reminded myself that these are the people who love me. These are the people who have endured my horrible grief, sometimes spewed on to social media or over the phone or in person. I was able to put down my sword and be more myself. I was awkward and uncomfortable, but I got through everything. Scared, angry, sad, happy, proud, nervous, loved... I just felt it all. At the end of these adventures is when it was brought to my attention that with my first sober holidays approaching I had to think about protecting my own sobriety. How was I going to navigate the holiday season without alcohol? As a terminal people pleaser, the thought of protecting myself is slightly foreign. I have protected myself out of survival, and as a side effect of protecting those I love. Now I find myself learning how to protect my mental health. Very odd concept for me. I am no longer interested in exposing myself to possibly damaging situations with toxic people. Whether that is friends or family. This holiday season I will protect my energy. I hope you are all well and you find your own way to protect yourself, Ceeeej 

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