Gratitude

Good day to you all. I hope this finds you well. Kids are returning to school, and summer is apparently coming to a close. The days are not as hot in the presert, and the nights are becoming cooler. We've had a little rain, but not nearly enough. The rain has mostly just made it humid. And, yes, the usual dry heat here is very different than when it's humid. I've cleared the 10 days of hell for the 7th time. The fog is beginning to lift on my widow brain. At this, and other tough times, I find that the best thing I can do is to be grateful for the things that aren't shit. I have food, and shelter, and clothes, and animals, and people who love me. I have flowers and trees and food growing in the sand. I am in decent health, all things considered. Gratitude helps to remind us how blessed we are. Not focusing on how much life can be a fucking dumpster fire. It feels like when I am struggling, life becomes more challenging. It must be Murphy's Law. This set of rough days was no exception. I found myself extremely short fused, and unable to hear people talk. Every single thing annoyed me. Suddenly I felt naked and afraid, like right after Joe died. I felt small and foreign and terrified. And just a tiny bit more than a week after Joe's birthday, I find myself somber, yet optimistic. Joe used to tell me that I was overly (or ridiculously, or something like that) optimistic. As much as I miss him and the life we had, I currently feel so grateful for the present (and the presert), and my awesome support humans and animals. Be safe friends. Ceeeej 

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