EMDR continued

Hello, my people. I apologize for the sporadic posting, but I have a lot going on and it's so hot here that my brain is mushy. EMDR is going well, but it's not easy. Everything is being processed and either thrown out or reframed. Pretty much 24/7. I'm very short fused and irritable. And I have very little patience or a sense of humor. I've been trying to get more sleep and drink less beer. Seriously considering quitting drinking, because it sometimes gets out of hand. In the last session of EMDR, I realized that I have the belief that I'm a bad person. This was something I was told, possibly accidentally, for much of my childhood. I believed death was bad, and talking about the dead was off limits. I had a traumatic loss as a young child, and for 40 years I took full responsibility for the loss. I thought I had somehow caused it. I have been able to see that none of the above is true, and have begun to heal this very old scar. I have given back the responsibility to those that are responsible for their actions and words. I have been visualizing the traumatic situations in the way that they should have been. My adult self supporting my child self, and walking through the memories. I support her as she says goodbye. This seems to be a helpful practice. I am finding forgiveness and gaining peace around this trauma. I am still uncomfortable, but growth is happening. I hope you find the capacity to forgive yourself for the past. Much love, Ceeeej 

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