Diary of a Mad Woman Gone Sane

Living outside of civilization has its perks, however I have some not so fun neighbors. Each year I have to deal with snakes. Out here I only have one venomous snake, the prairie rattlesnake. They're very small. Reaching only about 2 feet at their largest. They blend in very well with the dirt, and are difficult to see. I have snake shot in my 22 long revolver, in the instance I have to keep me and my animals safe. I don't prefer killing them, and I would rather not, if I can avoid it. I have read that they are very aggressive, but that's not been my experience. They just want to be left alone. This year I have had a few interactions with them, as I do every year. I've had 2 dogs get bit in the last 6 years. Both survived and haven't had any problems, fortunately. Much of the time they will rattle to warn me that they are there. Since they are so small, their rattle isn't very loud. I generally try to have my phone playing music with me, and they usu...

Recently I quit drinking. I never thought I'd be an alcoholic. I never wanted to be an alcoholic. It was something I was very conscious of, having an alcoholic parent. Unfortunately, shortly before losing Joe, my drinking was very much out of hand. Probably fortunately I got a DUI 11 days following his death, on April Fools. I'd probably been drunk the entire time. I abstained from alcohol for 16 months, while I was on probation. I drank some of the time after that, for a while, until, once again, it got out of hand. I got my third and final DUI on New Year's Eve. I continued to drive under the influence, just not in public. Unfortunately, it didn't sink in after my third DUI either. I continued to drink excessively. I made horrible decisions constantly. I put myself and others at risk. I broke my own nose, falling down my stairs, drunk. I accepted unacceptable behavior from people, especially those that were supposed to love me. I allowed my peace to be disrupted. I de...

.                    Sunset  Once again I find myself apologizing for being so tardy in posting. I am sorry. I will most likely do it again, since life happens. I'm healing from many things. Obviously still working on grief and trauma, also recovering from a hip replacement. I'm doing very well with my new hip, and I'm doing physical therapy and walking my dogs. I wish I would have replaced it sooner. I'm dedicated to my physical health, as well as my emotional health. I'm still no contact with my previous ex. It's been 6 months. It's not always been easy to keep no contact, but it is an absolute necessity. I'm reminded by friends and family what could happen if I don't remain no contact. I'm regaining my life back. I'm beginning to realize that his behavior had nothing to do with me. I've stopped drinking. It's been 4 and a half months without a beer. I never imagined that I would quit drinking. After losing Joe, it felt like that ...