Diary of a Mad Woman Gone Sane

Good day to all of you that read my blog! Spring is trying to spring here. It just snowed a week or so ago. A year ago, I had a hip replacement. I'd put it off for 3 decades, but I could put it off no longer. The pain was excruciating and I had such horrible arthritis that my hip just looked like a puff of smoke. Like a magic trick had just been performed and the magician had disappeared. I was scared to take this journey without my dear husband. I had to put my trust in some of my friends. I didn't know if I could rely on these people but I didn't have much choice. Looking back I could have gone to a rehab center, but I didn't feel comfortable doing that. I'm not a big fan of the medical system. I had asked a friend to take care of my animals while I was gone. And he happily agreed. My dogs know and love him, so I knew he would be safe. I had my surgery and went to another friend's house to recover. Things went relatively smoothly for about 2 weeks, and then I ...

Recently I quit drinking. I never thought I'd be an alcoholic. I never wanted to be an alcoholic. It was something I was very conscious of, having an alcoholic parent. Unfortunately, shortly before losing Joe, my drinking was very much out of hand. Probably fortunately I got a DUI 11 days following his death, on April Fools. I'd probably been drunk the entire time. I abstained from alcohol for 16 months, while I was on probation. I drank some of the time after that, for a while, until, once again, it got out of hand. I got my third and final DUI on New Year's Eve. I continued to drive under the influence, just not in public. Unfortunately, it didn't sink in after my third DUI either. I continued to drink excessively. I made horrible decisions constantly. I put myself and others at risk. I broke my own nose, falling down my stairs, drunk. I accepted unacceptable behavior from people, especially those that were supposed to love me. I allowed my peace to be disrupted. I de...

I fought myself about doing this post, however it was brought to my attention that it might help someone else. So, here it goes. Almost 2 years ago I met a man. He'd just gotten out of prison. He was too good looking for where I live, but I was solidly bound to my singleness. Every time he tried to talk to me my heart would race. I did my best to be aloof. He tried for 9 months to get me interested. There were many red flags and I was trying to stop drinking. He came to my house with another guy to help me chop wood, which actually didn't happen that day. We talked about many things and he had the most beautiful blue eyes. About a week later was Christmas. I had plans by myself, since I had decided to forgo the holidays. Early the morning after Christmas he called me asking if he could come over. I said yes and shortly after he was sitting on the beanbag in my bus, for the first of many times. I did my best to keep my composure. I hadn't felt like that since my late husband...

Hello friends. I'm so sorry for being late again in posting. Life has been crazy, per usual, and I have been getting through winter. Since I posted last, I celebrated my birthday. And we have completed another holiday season. I use the recent Thanksgiving day to remember to be grateful. Life has been extremely stressful lately, so I have been doing my best to stay grateful. Loca is growing and goes everywhere with me. She travels very well and wants everyone to pet her. She loves children and most women and some men. She wants to play with every dog. The cats are getting big, except for Mr G. He's the smallest, even though he was the largest when they were born. All the dogs are well. I haven't been able to integrate Loca into my dog tribe completely yet. She really likes Lucky. They're very similar in their nature. Both very smart, one is very spastic. My animals keep me sane. Thank you for reading my blog, Ceeeej