Diary of a Mad Woman Gone Sane

Today the wind is blowing, fiercely. This is not a new thing out here, but I still have a response to it, as it shakes my bus. Rewind to 3 years ago. My first winter here. My ex was working in town, so I was alone in the presert. The bus was rocking wildly. I was cold and afraid. The wood burning stove was filling the bus with smoke and wood was broken pallets mostly. This was one of the worst winters here and definitely the most horrible winter I'd experienced in my life. Fast forward a year, my first winter alone in the presert. Thank goodness for my dogs! I had been convinced that I would fail. That I couldn't survive out here. The wind was howling as it does today. I was not cold, but I was terrified. I was no longer burning pallets and the wood stove was keeping me warm. By this point, I was unable to keep my tears at bay, so I would lie in bed and bawl. Sometimes uncontrollably. Today I am into my 4th winter. I don't lie in bed and cry. I still don't enjoy the win

When I still had a j.o.b. I would drive in any weather.  Rain or shine or blizzard, whatever. I worked in Denver, 90 miles from my home. The weather in Colorado can become unfavorable rapidly, but I had to make money for my boys. So off I'd go to work. Fast forward to today. If it's snowing or raining, or has recently, unless it's an emergency, I don't go anywhere. If the road out is bad, I don't leave. I try to keep extra everything on hand. I've been stranded before and it's a long walk to town. You never know when you are not going to be able to get out sometimes. Fortunately I have great friends and neighbors who would be happy to rescue me, if needed. To be honest I love watching the dogs play in it, while I'm toasty warm indoors. Snow is so beautiful when I don't have to drive in it. Ceeeej 

I suppose I should start the story with my life currently and go back from there. I live in a school bus with my 7 dogs and 2 cats, out in the presert, also known as the high desert. Presert equals prairie desert. I haul my own water. My source of power is solar, and my heat is wood burning stove, and cooking and back up heat is propane. I have been a widow for almost 5 years. I have a strange and beautiful view from my front windshield. I listen to the wind and coyotes at night. My dogs like to yell at both. Sometimes I can hear the freeway and the railroad, when the wind stops or blows in the right direction. I can see the lights on the freeway and of the faraway town. I've found peace in this place, and healing in the quiet. I can see every light in the sky. And the moon lights up everything. The sunrises and sunsets are the most amazing I've ever seen in my many years! Sunsets seem to take forever,  kind of like on the ocean, I'm told. I've never been handy or rugge

This is my first post. Welcome to the madness. These are my adventures. I'm a writer/story teller. All of what you see here is probably true. I'm kind of funny. My mom thinks I'm fucking hysterical. I'm a conversational swearer, so there may be language. I'm a poet, music/art/nature lover, bad mother knitter, and, well, you'll see. I, like you, are many different things. I'm a scorpio. I'm a mom. I'm a widow. I'm a veteran. I am fierce. I am not a princess, I am a badass! I live off grid in a school bus with my 7 dogs and 2 cats in the presert (prairie desert=presert). What you will see here are my opinions and experiences. My main goal is perhaps to help others with my words. Thank you for letting me share my thoughts. Sincerely, Renegade Ceeeej